By Mary Stimming, Maureen Stimming
Sooner than Their Time provides grownup young ones survivors' (defined as 18 or above on the time of the parent's dying) bills in their loss, grief and determination following a parent's suicide. in a single part, the publication deals the views of little children at the deaths of moms; in one other, the views of little children at the deaths of fathers. In a 3rd part, 4 siblings think of the shared lack of their mom.
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Additional info for Before their time: adult children's experiences of parental suicide
My mother's father had taken his life. My mother fought all her life with depression. It finally won. But I was determined to break the cycle. I reached out for help. Mental illness is not a shameful thing. What's shameful is not getting help. I can now say I have a small idea of the hell your mind can put you through. I lived through a relatively short episode of what my mother experienced. But I reached out for help and found hope. It's been a long journey backbut a worthwhile one that has enabled me to live my life to the fullest.
After the divorce, I decided to go back to school. I had to earn a decent living. I had to start all over with my life. The anxiety of leaving the safety of my home and family overwhelmed me. After pulling myself up day after day, I just could not pull anymore. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I would try to sleep, but I would wake up every hour, my heart racing madly. I tried to eat, but the food choked me. For the first time in my life, I had lost my will, my spirit. I wanted to crawl in a dark corner and be left alone.
My position is that while suicide can be labeled a bad way to handle pain, the deceased person is not bad, nor is the family. Survivors feel isolated from the world around them. Most people do not understand what it means to lose someone to suicide. Thus, it is most helpful for survivors of suicide to interact with each other and support each other and learn from each other. This can be done in many ways. It is my hope that this volume can be one of the sources of support and companionship that survivors so sorely need.
Before their time: adult children's experiences of parental suicide by Mary Stimming, Maureen Stimming