By Chris Lyttleton
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Extra resources for Mekong Erotics: Men Loving Pleasuring Using Men in Lao PDR
It promotes mobility along the continuum in complicated ways (that we explore in the next chapter) for it is generally assumed that a growing number of sexual interactions can gradually undermine one’s status as 100% male, although this is neither immediate nor automatic. As mentioned, most ‘full’ men surveyed will enjoy insertive anal sex, but will only allow oral sex for money because they fear that they are getting too ‘close’ to kathoeys. Others (including women) proclaim that maximizing partners of both sexes only reinforces a man’s innate sexual prowess.
Overall I prefer women. There is more physical attraction, even if kathoey take better care of you. My parents could never accept me being with a kathoey as a partner – we could never be a real couple. We couldn’t have children. But even so, I do feel strongly when I am with a kathoey. When you sleep with girls, you have to give everything; it always costs you in some shape or form – norn gap phu yiing mii tae sia (when you sleep with a girl, you have to pay for everything). It takes a long time to get a girl.
Next the family matched the man with another young woman. This time it was J’s cousin. The man came up with the brideprice (less in this instance), but over the course of the engagement began to fall in love with J instead. 25 The man knew that if he decided not to marry the girl, he would be fined. So the young man and his kathoey love tried to flee. They told all their friends that they would commit suicide, but no one took it seriously. Not long later, J and his lover hanged themselves in one of the little huts in the rice field.
Mekong Erotics: Men Loving Pleasuring Using Men in Lao PDR by Chris Lyttleton